Raising Thankful Children
by Pastor Ray Ellis, Willow Vale FMC (San Jose, CA)

The Thanksgiving season is an excellent time for modeling and teaching thankfulness.

Developing thankfulness in our children takes time — more like baking a Thanksgiving turkey than microwaving vegetables. Developing a thankful child is something we as parents must work on day in and day out. Here are a few helpful hints:

· Model thankfulness: Our goal should be to model the characteristic of thankfulness before our children. (The old slogan "Don't do as I do, do as I say" simply does not work.)

· Express thankfulness directly: We should take every opportunity to tell our children we are thankful for them. We can be honest and look for something good in every situation. (Negative attitudes reproduce faster than rabbits, and attitudes of discontent are enemies of thankfulness.)

· Follow the "Rule of 5 to 1": When one of our children makes a negative remark about a brother or sister, we ask him or her to say five positive things before saying anything else.

· Cultivate grateful hearts: When we as parents have grateful hearts, our attitudes tend to sprout and grow in our children.

· Give freely: Our children need to know that they are a high priority in our lives and work. (Giving of our time to our children is more important than giving our children lots of things.)

· Maintain an "open-door" policy: I have always had an open-door policy — within reason — for my children, willingly dropping whatever I am doing to give attention to a hurt or a question.

· Say "Please" and "Thank you": Develop and encourage the common courtesy of saying "Please" and "Thank you" in daily life. (This is especially important for creating and maintaining a positive atmosphere in the home.)

· Pray with thanksgiving: Talking to God before meals and at bedtime always includes giving thanks for His many blessings.

· Do not give up: Helping our children live with thankful hearts is a process. It is like planting a garden. Beautiful gardens do not pop up overnight. Seeds are planted and watered long before any fruit comes from all the effort.