My God, My Hope
by Angelie Stahlnecker

I had been recently married and was in my third year of college. We were involved in a great college ministry and a new church plant. But despite all of these blessings, I found myself on the couch surrounded by darkness — full of doubt, fear and hopelessness about my faith and future. I turned to a few verses I could remember and called on the name of Jesus. Through the darkness a warmth pierced, and I felt God's light.

Unfortunately, this was not the last of my dark times. During my eight years of marriage, I have descended several more times into hopelessness. Each time, an internal struggle has churned inside me — between what I know is true and what I feel is true.

My most recent episode came last winter. This time I stayed in my devotions and God gave me Psalm 43. Several months later, our conference women's retreat used this same psalm as its theme and the retreat was a wonderful confirmation of God's love and care for me.

Through Psalm 43, I have learned a better way to cope with times of hopelessness. A look at verses 3-5 of the psalm reveals several steps toward hope that I've identified.

"Send forth your light and your truth,
let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell" (Psalm 43:3).

First we need to bring light and truth to the false feelings that are swirling in our heads. I had great fear that if I confessed my worries and doubts, people would think less of me. Finally, I talked to my husband and later to my small group — everyone was understanding and supportive. I discovered that once I admitted these things out loud, God's light and truth quickly revealed my false thoughts as the lies they truly were. Great relief rushed over me.

"Then will I go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp,
O God, my God" (Psalm 43:4).

Once God's light revealed the truth, I fell easily at His altar. I prayed, cried and confessed all the doubts and fears that had gripped me. I focused on how He had been my joy and delight in the past. He met me with comfort and hope.

"Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God" (Psalm 43:5).

This final verse is the verse for my future, the one on which I focus when my soul is downcast and disturbed. It reminds me where my hope belongs — not in myself, not in my mind, not in my emotions — but in God and my Savior. When my focus is on praising Him, my hope abounds.

If you go through a time of hopeless, reflect on these verses and the promise of God. He will surely meet you — as He has met me — with His light and truth. For when we go to Him with praise, He will always be our joy, our delight and our hope.