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Neutral, Normal and Nurturing
by Anne Adams

With a dull ache in my throat, I turned away from my co-worker. What had gone wrong? After her harsh words to me, I'd just admitted I'd offended her and even apologized — but she'd just shrugged and returned to work. What was I supposed to do?

We often encounter difficult people — those who are rude, touchy or even actually hostile. Yet how do we respond to them? How should we? One way is to base our response on three words: neutral, normal and nurturing. Let's see how this works.

Neutral
Many difficult people are internally angry and their reactions are not necessarily aimed at you personally — you just happen to be there at the time. So with this in mind, you can react by being neutral — by refusing to harbor any personal resentment and anger, instead choosing to view the difficult person as someone who is troubled but who has no real personal animosity toward you.

Normal
If you normally treat others with respect and courtesy, then that's the way to treat those difficult people in your life. Are they shouting? Lower your voice. Are they making snide comments about you? Either remain silent, or just walk away. They can't be difficult without an audience. Your serenity may defuse the situation and empower you at the same time. As Isaiah 30:15 (KJV) instructs, "... in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength."

Nurturing
As Christians, we have the challenge to go even further — and nurture those difficult people — offering Christ's love to those who no doubt desperately need Him. You can do this when you intentionally get beyond the nastiness and seek to develop a loving interest in them as individuals.

Yet what if after all you've done, the difficult people in you life are still difficult? Have you wasted your time? Maybe not: God may be using you to reach them for Him in some way you may never know. "Let us not become weary in doing good …" (Galatians 6:9).