What Was I Thinking!
May 05, 2004

I stood there both amused and amazed. After all, what could I possibly have been thinking!

Let me set the stage for you. Just a few years ago, the Marine Corps introduced a new hand-to-hand combat program for all Marines. The acronym is MCMAP (pronounced "McMap"). Spelled out, it means the "Marine Corps Martial Arts Program."

Not ever wanting to be left out of anything, I have been trying to get in on the training. It was nearly impossible in my role as a reserve chaplain, because the course lasted much longer than the two days a month we reservists serve. So when I was activated at the end of 2002, I thought I'd finally have a chance to get in on the training.

I was not able to participate at first because we were very involved in our build-up for Iraq. When a class finally opened up, I couldn't take it because I was scheduled to leave for Kuwait. This class catered to those forty years old and up and was referred to as a the "Gentleman's Course." Sounded perfect! "I'll do it later," I said to myself.

Well, from Kuwait I was sent to Djibouti, Africa. Alas! A MCMAP course was in full swing. However, the conditions were less than desirable. What I mean by that is, the training area was on hard-packed dirt. In this training, there is a lot of throwing. The idea of landing on hard ground was not a pleasant thought. I studied judo years ago, becoming very familiar with how to land, especially on hard surfaces. After seeing what some of the folks looked like after taking the class, I decided to wait for another opportunity when my body wasn't as likely to be shattered, or used as a rag doll by some young Marine feeling his oats.

Once I came back to Camp Pendleton in February of this year, I asked if there was going to be another "Gentleman's Course." Next thing I knew, an e-mail was sent to the entire MEF command, inviting all those 40 and over to sign up for the class. My name was first on the list.

RP1 Bob Page, ever feeling the need to protect his chaplain, decided to take the course with me. He's shy of 40 by a few months, but they made an exception for him. Good thing, too, because we were the only two to sign up for the class. Most likely the rest of the command has already gone through the training.

Our instructor, Staff Sergeant Henry Pollard, was very gracious in working with us — me in particular, adjusting to the continuous conflicts posed by my daily schedule. Nevertheless, we persevered, finishing the first phase — the tan belt — on Saturday morning, April 17.

The purpose of this training is to make the individual Marine more effective in hand-to-hand combat. Marines have always been good at such fighting. It's just that now they are even better. Scary thought, if you are the enemy.

Every move is executed from what is called the Basic Warrior Stance (think of a boxer's stance). In the requirements for the tan belt, we were taught angles of movement, various punches, counter punches, ways to fall without injuring ourselves, bayonet techniques, and different body strikes using the fingers, fists, knees and elbows. There were kicks to be learned, as well as choke holds, and much more. My favorite was the wrist-locks, leading to a takedown.

I'm fairly certain I'm the oldest student Henry Pollard has ever had. We worked together learning the techniques and faithful execution of all the maneuvers.

Again, my reason for being amused at all of this came about when I found myself standing on the mats one day, wearing protective head-gear, groin protection, and a boxing glove hanging from the end of each arm. Then there was the prerequisite plastic mouth guard. I found myself thinking, You no doubt look ridiculous! I gave up boxing as a young man after discovering I could effectively block any punch with my face! Man, that hurts.

You have to see the humor in this. Bob Page is 6'6" and weighs 220 pounds. Not to mention he's a former Marine. Henry Pollard, is 6'3", weighing in at 225. In his off time from the Marine Corps, he moonlights as a bouncer at a local bar. I used to be 5'10", and I weigh 195. What am I doing mixing it up with these two guys?

What we were about to engage in is euphemistically referred to as "body hardening." I think of it more as "body tenderizing." An instructor would announce when to begin the one-minute round. Two of us would already be in the basic warrior stance in the phantom ring where we would begin to exchange body blows. The one-minute round sure seemed to last a long time! Bob timed one of these "one-minute rounds," only to discover that there is a great deal of latitude in the instructors understanding of a minute. On this occasion, the round lasted four minutes and fifteen seconds. Sweat was pouring from my face. I had an overwhelming urge to lie down right there on the mats and take a long nap!

Now as a chaplain, I am a "non-combatant," according to the rules of the Geneva Convention. So why learn this stuff? As I said to Bob and Henry, "If I ever find myself in a position of having to use this in combat, it means I'm the last guy standing." This would not be good.

Well, I'm pleased to say that I'm none the worse for wear, successfully completing the tan belt portion of the course. I can now proceed with earning the gray, green, brown and even black belts. What am I thinking!

I think I'll just sleep on it.