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Here
We Go Again!
Previously, I wrote two separate articles concerning my going forward, using euphemisms such as “across the pond,” or “into the sandbox.” This is Marine-speak for crossing the ocean (Atlantic or Pacific – take your pick) and going to Kuwait/Iraq. The reason for the euphemistic phrasing is because we were not authorized to say exactly where we would be going. The first go-around was with me leaving mid-January. That was nixed only nine hours prior to my boarding an airplane. The second time was mid-February, only on this occasion I was cancelled three days prior to departing. So here I am again, only this time I was not expecting to go forward. After all, for all intents and purposes, the war in Iraq is over. There is certainly a clean-up operation that will be ongoing for some time, but I figured there wouldn’t be any need for me to go over. Ha! Just like the Lord to pull a surprise like this. Last Monday I was informed I’d be going to Kuwait, yet again! And, that I might leave as early as Thursday morning. Well, now, that got my attention! I called my wife, who jumped a jet and flew down to spend those brief days with me, only to learn I wouldn’t be leaving until the middle-to-latter part of this week. This gave us a few more days to enjoy through the weekend. So for the third time in three months, I’ve taken my wife to the airport to say goodbye, not knowing when I’ll see her again. There’s good news and bad news. The good news is the war is (unofficially) over. The bad news is that region is still a very dangerous place. The range of emotions I, along with many others, experience when preparing to depart is an interesting study in human psychology. There is the excitement of going into a new, albeit dangerous, environment. Add to that the opposite emotion of sadness in knowing how much I will desperately miss being home, surrounded by all that’s familiar and comfortable. But then I’ll be back up again with anticipation, anxious to do my job (ministry to Marines), only to wait impatiently for word as to when I will actually leave. Now add to that saying goodbye — either in person or over the phone — to friends and family. As mentioned already, this is the third time I’ve been through this drill. Let me assure you, it doesn’t get any easier! Stir into this mix the fact that I tend to get emotional (read: tear up), quietly suppressing huge sighs and blinking back crocodile tears, and you have a grown man looking rather silly walking through the airport. Last Friday my wife attended one of the numerous memorial services we’ve had for our fallen Marines. Right on cue during the ceremony, tears escaped the confines of my eyes, silently coursing their way down my cheeks. At one point my wife looked at me, saw teardrops hanging from my jaw line, and then deftly swiped them away with her tissue. So you can see a side of me that may not always come through because I still struggle with allowing my emotions to show. The yoyo of these emotions hits us all. It’s the way God made us. I used to suppress it, but after coming to know Christ as my Savior, I was glad to be free to allow such emotions to have their rightful place in my life. So whether I go forward or not, I’m here to serve as God directs. I have a promise in the Bible that says there is coming a day when there will be no more tears and sorrow. Sounds heavenly! |
