Since pastors generally go from Bible college or seminary directly into ministry, they have not been "ordinary" adult church members for any great length of time.
Consequently, they sometimes have difficulty understanding what it's like to be "in the world but not of it."

For instance, I recently read articles on "latchkey children" in two reputable, moral, secular magazines (Reader's Digest and Kiplinger's Personal Finance Magazine). Both articles encouraged parents to teach their children to lie. In fact, one of the articles instructed parents to have their children practice lying until it sounded natural. The writers' motives were good - to protect children who are alone in the house. But surely any disciple of Jesus would shrink from training children in lying.

These articles illustrate how pastors and church members inhabit opposing occupational worlds. In the pastor's world, means are paramount (ideally). If a means of solving a financial problem seems objectionable, the pastor merely has to say, "I don't think this method would please God," and the issue is settled. In the secular world, that objection would be met with amazement or irritation. Even if couched in less-religious terms ("I find that morally objectionable"), an employee would find that she was seen as an obstacle to the company's progress.

When a friend of mine, Audrey, was a church secretary, the pastor asked her to include a poem in the church newsletter. She noticed it was copyrighted, however, and told him she felt they should get permission first. Permission was granted and the poem printed. The pastor commended her diligence. A year later Audrey was working for a secular company and hesitated to run off several complete copies of an expensive book for the sales force. This time, her boss reprimanded her.

A prayer partner of mine once said that almost every Christian who wants to hold a long-term secular job winds up bending morally. I believe he is right. Pastors often fail to realize the subtle moral pressures Christians constantly face on their jobs.
Significantly, when Audrey mentioned her copying dilemma to a Bible study group, people employed in religious organizations almost unanimously felt she should not run off the book; people employed in secular organizations almost unanimously thought she should.

As a volleyball coach at one school, I told the girls during tryouts that they would be evaluated by four criteria, such as athletic ability and skills tests. But when I selected my team, the principal told me I had to add another girl of a particular race to fulfill the school's racial quota for that sport. Had I then lied to the girls about the judging criteria? Should I have resisted my principal? At another school the administration asked me to falsify some statistics "for the good of the school." What was my responsibility?

The average full-time employed church member spends 40 to 50 percent of his waking hours in work-related activity and seldom receives direct teaching about dealing with moral dilemmas there. This isn't because pastors don't care; they simply aren't aware of the peculiar tensions of secular work.

One of these tensions is the disappointment of not "working for God full-time." Members, like pastors, generally have 45 to 55 work-related hours each week. But the pastor has received some spiritual nourishment during that time. The member arrives home at 5:30 with all her Bible study, prayer and Christian reading yet to come.
Much has been made of the "5:00 syndrome" in marriages — the fact that most spouses give their best hours to other people, then come home with little energy left to give. If this is a hindrance for marriages, how much more for our marriage with God? Pastors aware of this factor can discuss with members ways to overcome it.

Also, pastors need to reassure members that they can please God without being involved in every church activity. Of course many members need to be more involved. But committed people, when they hear weekly appeals for choir members and youth sponsors, feel un-Christian for letting a full schedule interfere with "the Lord's work."
A friend once asked me if I felt he was doing wrong by not being "involved enough" at church. He worked full-time on a farm, was completing a doctoral dissertation and was applying for university teaching positions. He attended Sunday morning and evening services and a Wednesday night Bible study, and sang in the choir. Yet, aware of the church's needs, he felt guilty about not being more involved!

A former boss of mine, who put in 55 hours a week on his job, told me he found Sunday to be his most exhausting day of the week; the services he attended then encouraged him to spend much of the rest of the day feeling guilty about the fact that he was only involved in two of the church's activities during the week!

Another major difference between pastors and members is worship roles. Every week pastors get to tell about both Christ's work in their lives and their favorite jokes. Knowledge is power, and pastors (in small and midsize churches) know everyone in the churches. In fact, they know almost everything that goes on there — offerings, building plans, upcoming events. The pastor controls the order of service and can change it somewhat if he or she wishes (over occasional cries of "That's not how we do it," I'll admit). The pastor determines what subjects will be taught and how long services last. However, an individual member, if dissatisfied, has little opportunity to change much about a church.

Recently a friend said to me, "Marv, every once in a while I think that if I were a 'real' Christian I'd leave my secular job and become a pastor. I'd be a terrible pastor! But I still feel sort of uncommitted to the Lord for not being one." It's a common thought for many church members who love Christ. Pastors need to understand that longing and, more importantly, channel it into spiritual use.