"Yes, honey, but ..."
"Santa's dead?!" Splash! Splash!! Her tears echoed against my heart as they hit the kitchen table.
For weeks prior to this conversation I had practiced a brief biography of St. Nicholas while at the same time secretly lifting prayers to heaven for help. I knew this conversation would not be easy. After all, I had helped perpetuate the lie all these years, hadn't I?
I drew a deep breath and rattled off my rehearsed speech: "There once was a man named Nicholas and he lived a long time ago. He gave food and gifts to orphans because he loved Jesus very much. That's why people dress up in Santa suits today so we can remember what Nicholas did."
I never expected her to pick up on the fact that Nicholas was dead. But now I was left with a 5-year-old whose illusions had been smashed. It wasn't my intent to destroy her Christmas fantasies. Rather, it was my desire to help her grow in her understanding of the purpose of Christmas. But now I felt like the Grinch who stole Christmas.
Quickly, I reviewed what had just happened and where I had gone wrong.
First mistake: This was not a topic for casual dinner conversation.
Actually, that was my second mistake. My first mistake was allowing others around me to form my children's viewpoint on Santa Claus. Grandparents eagerly promoted Santa as real, and television shows, which I encouraged them to watch, fed into this fantasy.
I realized that if I allowed the world to form my children's view of Santa, I ultimately allowed the world to form their view of Christmas. So how do I, as a parent who wants to instill truth and faith in my children, keep my children's imagination alive?
· Start with the original Christmas story.
The first logical step is to continue building on their faith foundation.
Every year we sit around the tree and read the story of Christmas from
the Bible (Genesis 3:1-19; Luke 1:26-38, 2:1-20; Matthew 2:1-12; and John
3:16). It is important to gird up a child's understanding of God's love
for us and to give a purpose for the birth of Jesus.
· Decide early how you wish to handle the subject of Santa
Claus.
Many families, Christian and non-Christian alike, are comfortable promoting
a fanciful figure as reality. After all, childhood happens just once,
and there's only a brief period in children's lives when they have the
ability to believe the unbelievable with complete abandon.
The delight on my children's faces on previous Christmas mornings had
squelched my doubts that perhaps I had set them up for a great disappointment.
But in the weeks leading up to this particular Christmas, talk shows paraded
disillusioned adults who felt betrayed by their parents' promotion of
Santa Claus during their childhood. My greatest fear was not that my children
would no longer believe in Santa Claus but that they would not believe
me when I told them the unbelievable, but true, story of Christ's sacrifice
for our sins.
After discussing my concerns with several of my friends, I discovered
an obvious way to include Santa Claus that I had overlooked, an approach
that allows children to express their imagination and still keep Christ
at the center of Christmas. Many of my friends never allowed Santa to
become real in the first place. One friend said it this way: "Santa
is just another make-believe character. [My children] don't think of Santa
as anything different than Big Bird or Mickey Mouse."
· Don't confuse the fictional Santa Claus with the factual
St. Nick.
Whether you're retracing your steps as I now had to do or you're starting
out new with your family, it's helpful to give an understanding of the
real St. Nicholas. My children quickly understood that we weren't giving
up on St. Nick but on the mythical Santa Claus.
Nicholas, born to modest wealth, was raised with the understanding that
it was important to help those who were less fortunate. When orphaned
as a young teen-ager, Nicholas found comfort in his religious studies
and faith in God. At the age of 19, he was ordained as a priest and soon
after became the bishop of Myra. From A.D. 303 to 308, Nicholas was imprisoned
for not worshiping the Roman emperor, Diocletian, as a god. He encouraged
the other prisoners to remain steadfast in their faith. But mostly, Bishop
Nicholas was known for his kindness, generosity and wisdom.
"We don't make a big deal about Santa," says Vicki, mother of
14. Since most of their children are adopted, Vicki and her husband, George,
had to overcome preconceived ideas about Santa. "We tell our kids
about the man named Nicholas. We stress the fact that he loved God and
discuss the things he did because of his love for God. In our home, Santa
is no longer a celebrity. Instead, St. Nick has become more like a Christian
grandfather."
· Read books about other traditions around the world.
Though Santa is the most prevailing gift-bearing figure in North America,
he's not the world's only gift-bearing character. Learning about traditions
practiced around the world at Christmas offers a wonderful family and
devotion time.
In Russia, there's a gift-bearing woman named Babushka. Legend has it
she deliberately gave bad directions to the three Wise Men during their
search for the Christchild. Regretting her actions, she now roams the
earth looking for Jesus every January 5 (Epiphany Eve). In hopes of finding
Him, she leaves small gifts under the pillows of sleeping children so
that He might forgive her.
And in Germany, one of their gift-bearing figures is the Christchild himself.
The child is often pictured riding a white donkey. Is this because Christ
was born in a stable? Or is it because He rode into Jerusalem on a donkey
on Palm Sunday, and the two symbols together remind children of the true
reason Jesus was born?
· Discover the truth inside the myth of Santa Claus.
The Santa we know today is a mixture of fact and legend originating from
the life of Nicholas, religious traditions from around the world, and
the imagination of storybook writers and advertising executives. Though
Santa is now completely mythical, he has contributed to our Christian
heritage.
It was because of the fondness for St. Nicholas that the celebration of
Christmas became commonplace. Protestants began including St. Nicholas
in their Christmas celebrations after Martin Luther abolished the worship
or remembrances of saints in the 16th century. Until that time, people
commemorated the death of St. Nicholas every December 6. By then the traditions
had become extensive and the people were especially fond of them. Many
families perpetuated his memory by including St. Nick in their Christmas
festivities.
It wasn't until 1870, however, that Christmas was adopted as an official
lesson plan in Protestant churches. As part of the Christmas lesson, Sunday-school
teachers often dressed up as Santa Claus to hand out presents. It was
meant as an outreach to children who didn't normally attend Sunday school.
Whether it was tradition or imagination, some people believe even the
choice of color for Santa's suit came from the red robes Nicholas wore
as a bishop.
· Look for opportunities to share with others less fortunate
than yourself.
Though Christians would not dispute the great gift we've been given in
Christ, historians credit Nicholas for turning Christmas into a season
of giving. On his feast day, people celebrated his memory by re-enacting
the most legendary tales attributed to Nicholas. One re-enactment included
hanging stockings over the fireplace and filling them with gifts during
the night. This was in remembrance of the time Nicholas saved a widower
from selling his daughters into slavery by sneaking into their home and
filling their stockings with gold coins. Additionally, entire towns or
communities participated in the festivities by giving gifts to one another.
The stories behind the traditions can inspire modern families' giving
as well. No amount of consoling quieted Hollie when she learned of Santa's
demise. So in desperation, I reminded her of the week before, when we
had sorted out her good clothes that no longer fit. We had packed them
up, along with toys in good condition that she no longer played with,
and gave them to an orphanage our church sponsored.
"See, Hollie, you're like Santa when you give things away to other
children who need them more than you!"
Instantly her tears stopped. "Really, Mama? I'm like Santa too?!"
she said as her face brightened with delight.
"Yes, Hollie, you are," I nodded.
That's when I knew she understood. Christmas is not about Santa, but about
following Christ's example by giving unto others as God has given unto
us.
__________________________________________________________
Becky Ladewig has two daughters and a granddaughter and lives in Colorado
Springs, CO. She has been published in Christian Parenting Today
and Single Parent Family. She is author of the children's book
"God's Precious Gift in a Manger" (Cook Communications
Ministries)
