Computers are the bane of my existence.

"What's a bane?" you ask.

Computers. They are the "cause of distress … or ruin" (as Webster's defines "bane," but fails to put a little picture of a computer beside the definition).

And yet, computers are a blessing. They have saved me hundreds of hours of work. And it's a good thing, or else I have no idea where I would have found the time to wait on hold numerous times for the "next available technician" to help me fix my crashed computer.

Muzak … Muzak … Muzak … "Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold for the next available technician." Muzak …Muzak … Muzak …"Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold for the next available technician." Muzak … Muzak …

Why would I put my whole life on hold in this way? Just to get my computer up and running so I could manage my life quicker? Yes. Just to be able to search the Internet faster? Yes. Just to be able to save time by paying my bills online? Yes.

Perhaps you are seeing the irony in all of this. Has this era's greatest time-saving tool really saved me any time? It's hard to tell. But it's the hope of saving time, it's the promise of accomplishing more, it's the longing for some distant time and place where there will be no more tears and no more "fatal errors" that compels me to wait on the other end of a phone line that connects me with The Answer to My Problem.

Due to recent computer problems, I've had quite a bit of time on hold. So I've spent time thinking about how our church needs to relate to God as we approach another historic general conference.

I've been intrigued by the idea of "holy indifference," a classical term used by Christian saints such as Francis DeSales. This quiet attitude embodies how we should relate to God, and I have learned a lot about holy indifference as I frequently put my life on hold for hours on end to share my computer problem with an all-too-distant-and-too-long-silent technical advisor.

First, I am aware of my helplessness. My computer doesn't work right. I have tried everything, and nothing helps. So as I sit on hold, I am fully aware that I have virtually no clue what to do. I'm all ears, albeit they're being slimed with the syrupy sounds of Muzak.

My helplessness breeds a sense of desperation. I can't go on like this! I can't make it on my own! Who can save me from this problem! So not only am I all ears, but I am all - everything. I am totally ready. I am fully committed to do whatever the technician tells me to do. He could tell me to get a brown paper bag, blow it up, spin around three times, pop the bag, scream, "Boogada, boogada, Bill Gates!" and throw my monitor out the second story window (I've already done that, by the way) and I would obey instantly. Just tell me that will fix my problem! Please!

That's the attitude of holy indifference: helpless desperation before the only One who knows what to do. … Waiting. … Ready to do whatever.

How foolish I would be if I waited all that time and then simply brought the tech support person my plans.

"So anyway, here's what I think I should do. I think I need to go into my LAN settings and change the 'detect IP address automatically' setting and change it to 'assign IP address manually,' and then you should tell me what I need to type in the blank space. Bless my plan, O Wise Technician."

We would never do that to a tech support person.

To radically paraphrase Scripture, If that is how we relate to earthly technicians who know how to give good answers when we ask, how much more should we relate in this way to our heavenly Father.

As we approach the 34th General Conference, are we helpless and desperate enough to pray a prayer of holy indifference?

"Father, our church is locked up. For decades we've been trying to return to the days of being a holy movement in the United States by pushing every button we know to push. Nothing's worked — not really. We are tired of trying this and that. We are desperate and helpless, so we come without prejudice against or bias toward any solution. In the past we've argued that the 'will of the people is the way You express Your will.' Somehow that claim clanks hollow as we look at our erratic patterns; jumping from one strategy to another does not reflect Your guidance. Forgive us. This time we will wait until you speak Your will to us theocratically, not necessarily through us democratically. And we will do whatever You say."

That's a prayer God deserves to hear from the church.