Just for Good Measure

Probably few of our readers loved geometry in high school. Most kids don’t. It’s too much work trying to learn those theorems, axioms and proofs. It has nothing to do with “real life.” At least that’s what everybody said. Everybody, that is, except those kids who always got perfect scores on all their tests, and if they didn’t, if they did so poorly as to score only a 98, they went home in such a state of depression you’d think they had accidentally poisoned their cat, probably named something like “Archimedes” or “Agamemnon” — not “Fluffy” or “Butterscotch” as the rest of us would name our cats.

We despised those bell curve-breaking, IQ-boasting, perambulating brains. And we hated geometry. Which raises a really rich irony.

For all our relentless distaste for the value of geometry, the average person is actually an avid student of another axiom-based system of proofs. It has never been named, nor officially taught in schools. Nevertheless, it is more widely practiced than geometry. Let’s call it agathonometry. (Go ahead. Sound it out slowly.)

Like most subjects kids hate in school, it is a word built up from Greek words. Agathonometry is the measurement (metry) of the good (agathon). The extra “o” is thrown in for the Irish, I suppose.

Agathonometry is used to determine whether to take a course of action based on “measuring” the degree of “good”ness of the action. Here’s how this works.

Let’s say I am considering taking some course of action we will call “Action X.” I now examine this course of action in relation to agathonometric axioms.

The first is the beneficiality axiom, which states: Any action that helps a person is good. Then comes the exponential corollary, which states: Any action which multiplies the beneficial impact is guaranteed to be good. In layman’s terms, the more people you help the better.

Another axiom is the adoxological axiom, which states: Any action that does not bring glory to the self is more likely to be good.

Another is the passion axiom with its depth corollary. Together these two say, If action X is something I feel passionate about, especially if my passion goes really deep, then it must be a good act.

Although there are a few more, I will conclude this lesson with the capability axiom, which states: No act is good if it cannot be done well. We’ve all heard the popular version: If something is worth doing, it is worth doing well. The potential corollary further aids in defining what is good by stating: Something is good if it has great potential for success.

Obviously, everything I have written thus far has been tongue in cheek. There is no such thing as agathonometry. But this little exercise reflects how we think in the church.

For example, let’s say your church is considering some outreach ministry. The reasoning often proceeds: If this ministry idea will help people, lots of people, if it isn’t being done to gain recognition or praise, if some people feel very deeply about it, and if it is likely to succeed, then it must be good.

Problem is, these ways of reasoning fail according to the one test for “good”ness that is biblically valid. Is it good in God’s eyes? No other test is required; no other test is valid.

The very first sin — the granddaddy of all sins — was Adam and Eve caving in to the temptation of determining good and evil without reference to and dependence on God. “You shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.” They would have loved to read a textbook on agathonometry.

We have always been attracted to knowing good and evil, but our frame of reference is too narrow and limited in scope. We can’t know the ramifications of any action, nor can we know the end from the beginning — the true outcomes.

As our denomination moves steadily into another quadrennial general conference season, let us be determined about one thing. Pray. Passionately. Persistently. Desperately. Renounce any and all attempts to determine what is good apart from sincere and devoted prayer to discern God’s clear leading. Let’s have none of this “God reveals His will through the will of the church” claim. As history reveals, that may or may not be true. No more agathonometric axioms.

Let us fully employ all the rich resources of our talented minds and strategic thinking, but only after we have made hearty attempts at seeking God’s mind. Otherwise God’s plans and our plans may be like parallel lines. Remember your geometry? Parallel lines go on infinitely in the same direction, but never come together.