I was climbing out of the car when suddenly Florence was at my elbow. "I can't come to Bible study this morning," she said. "My cancer is back. I'm headed to the hospital for a biopsy of my liver." She hurried off, climbed into her car and drove away.

I stood in the church parking lot, stunned. I knew Florence had battled breast cancer and, for the last two years, had been cancer free. Now this. I could only try to imagine how she must feel.

Lord, I prayed, I want to be a good friend to Florence, but I feel so helpless. What can I do for her? I wanted to be a godly friend. I wanted to help Florence through this difficult time as she faced this devastating news. But mostly, I wanted to strengthen and encourage her in her faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. But how could I do that?

Later, as I contemplated what I might do for Florence, I remembered that great friendship between King Saul's son Jonathan and the yet-to-be-king David. These two young men loved each other (see 1 Samuel 18:3; 20:17; and 2 Samuel 1:26), but Jonathan's father, King Saul, hated David. Threatened by God's promise that one day David would be king, Saul attempted to retain the throne by doing away with David. At one point during Saul's relentless pursuit and repeated attempts to kill him, David hid in the hills.

"Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 'Don't be afraid,' he said. 'My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.' The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh" (1 Samuel 23:16-18).

Jonathan helped David "find strength in God." Those words leaped out at me. That's what I want to do for Florence, I thought. I want to help her find strength in God. What better gift could I give her? But how could I do this? How did Jonathan do this?
I looked again at that brief conversation in 1 Samuel 23:16-18. There I found five ways Jonathan helped strengthen David. Here were five principles I could use to help my friends find strength in God, not only in dire situations — as with David and Jonathan, and Florence with her cancer — but also in the "everydays" of my friendships.

1. Review Past Experiences with God
"Don't be afraid," Jonathan said.

Isn't that our first impulse? Whether it's a friend facing a minor problem of daily life or Florence facing cancer, the first thing I want to do is give comfort: "Florence, don't worry. Everything's going to be all right."

But how can I say such a thing? On what foundation can I rest such a promise? I have no power to see how this problem will turn out or to make it turn out well. If I have no concrete basis for my statement, then my words are empty.

But Jonathan's words were not empty. He was not just wishing David well or hoping things would turn out OK. He had reasons for David to be encouraged, and those reasons were based on past experiences with God. So that was the next thing Jonathan did: he began to remind David of why he knew things would be OK.

2. Know God's Plans Are Sure
"My father Saul will not lay a hand on you," Jonathan said. Jonathan assured David that Saul could try to harm him, but Saul could not thwart God's plans. Saul was not in charge of the situation — God was. God has the power to prevail over even the greatest odds.

Jonathan may have reminded David of his bout with Goliath years earlier. When David told King Saul he would fight the 9-foot-tall giant, Saul said, "You are only a boy" (1 Samuel 17:33).

But David assured Saul, "When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth … The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine" (1 Samuel 17:34-35, 37). David knew God had helped him in his shepherding days. So, based on his past experience with God, David met fear with the faith that God would help him defeat Goliath.

Now, Jonathan could remind David of these events and encourage him to meet his fear with continuing faith that God would help him again. This was no hopeful well-wishing. This was sound reasoning based on the fact that God's plans are sure.

I can do the same with Florence, I thought. She'd already had one bout with cancer. She had experienced God's presence and help during that time. Now as she, like David, faced a new enemy, she could trust God to help her through again.

No matter how much the cancer might destroy Florence's body, it cannot thwart God's plans for her. Cancer is not in control of Florence's situation — God is. He can heal her of this cancer. Or if this bout with cancer means her death, then He can even overrule death, for He has given Florence eternal life.

Whatever my friends' dilemmas, I can encourage them by reviewing what God has done in the past — either for them or for me. But I need not stop there. Following Jonathan's example, I can also remind them of what God has promised to do in the future.

3. Remember God's Promises
"You will be king over Israel. …" Jonathan said. Years earlier God had sent His prophet Samuel to anoint Israel's next leader. "The LORD said to Samuel, '… I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king'" (1 Samuel 16:1).

When Samuel met David, the Lord told the prophet, "'Rise and anoint him; he is the one'" (1 Samuel 16:12b). Now in Horesh, Jonathan could remind David of God's promise.

Like Jonathan, I can find promises God has made to me and to my friends, like Romans 8:38-39: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Whatever my friends face, God's Word provides promises I can discover and share to help them find strength in God.

Jonathan not only reminded David of God's promises, but he also assured his friend that he believed them.

4. Prove We Believe God
Jonathan willingly accepted God's will — although at great cost to himself. As Saul's son, Jonathan had a legal right to the throne. But he understood that ultimately God's will would be done. He could have fought against David's becoming king, as his father Saul had. But instead he chose to cooperate with God. Jonathan was willing to accept God's will — that he would not be king, while David would. And he proved by his words and actions that he believed God.

As I seek to help my friends find strength in God, I must honestly evaluate my own heart. Am I as willing as Jonathan was to accept God's will? Am I cooperating with God, or fighting against Him? What do my words and actions indicate I believe? Do I truly believe God's promises?

If not, I need to ask God to help me know Him and His promises better. The more I understand God and His promises, the more I see His faithfulness in keeping them perfectly. This personal experience leads me toward an ever-deepening trust and confidence in Him. When I totally trust God myself, then I can take Florence or any other friend by the hand and say, "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" (Hebrews 4:16). Then, come what may, we will not falter, for our strength lies in God.

Finally, Jonathan pointed out that even David's enemy Saul was subject to God's will.

5. God's Will Prevails
"Even my father Saul knows this. …" Jonathan said.

Although David had God's promise that he would be king, his enemy Saul still pursued him. As believers in Christ, we too have enemies that continually pursue us. Our enemy may be a real person who refuses to accept God's will, or our enemy may be doubt or fear. We also have enemies in the spirit world. But none of them can stand against God. Even when they know God's plan as Saul did, no matter how hard they try, they still cannot divert it. When we remind our friends that God is greater than any enemy we face, we help them find strength in God.

Being Accountable to Each Other
After Jonathan's conversation with David, "the two of them made a covenant before the LORD." Did Jonathan and David promise each other they would not be afraid? Did they vow to each other to remember God's power and promises? Did they take an oath to submit themselves to God's plan, even at great cost to themselves? Did they dedicate themselves to standing strong against their enemies? Scripture doesn't say what their covenant included, but we can be sure it helped both of them remain strong in God. The accountability of a promise to stand strong, made with another believer, can help sustain us in difficult times (see Ecclesiastes 4:12).

This conversation is the final meeting between David and his great friend Jonathan recorded in the Bible. But Jonathan left David a beautiful gift. Helping our friends find strength in God is a gift that never fades or wears out, but lasts throughout this life and into eternity.

Putting the Principles into Practice
The next day I called Florence. "My biopsy was painful, but I'm resting," she said. "I'm waiting for the doctor to call with the results, but I already know I'll have to start chemotherapy soon."

"Don't be afraid, Florence," I began.

"I know this is not beyond God's control," Florence responded. As Florence and I talked, I noticed we were taking turns reminding each other of the promises of God we had learned together in Bible study. Then Florence began to recall how God had helped her through her previous battle with cancer. "Whatever lies ahead," she concluded, "God has a plan for me and He will bring it about. I'm not going to be afraid."

Later, when I hung up the phone, I thought about how Florence had seemed to gain strength as we talked. As we reviewed our past experiences with God and His promises, and as we assured each other that His will and His plans would prevail, we both felt stronger. We were proving our faith by our words, and that strengthened faith would overflow into our actions.

I determined to remember the principles I had learned from Jonathan in his words to David. These principles reminded me that no matter what circumstances we or our friends face, there is nothing God can't or won't carry us through. The more that reality sinks into our hearts and minds, the stronger we will become in our faith, and the more we can help our friends find strength in God.