Look What YOU Signed Up For!

A leading child development specialist recently reached an alarming conclusion — the average developing fetus, at about 6,100 days following conception, mutates into a 16-year-old kid.

Samuel Finster, the doctor who made the shocking discovery, has issued an urgent warning to prospective parents.

“Most couples get pregnant with the hope of bringing a healthy, happy baby home from the hospital, thereby enriching their lives,” said Finster. “But in the overwhelming number of cases we have tracked, the sweet and adorable babies eventually transform into moody, adult-sized, carbon-based life forms who will deplete your life savings just to purchase acne medications. The males can strip your refrigerator bare in nanoseconds, and the females will spend so much time in front of the bathroom mirror that they essentially live there. We were also horrified to discover that these dangerous organisms can legally drive in most states.”

If Finster sounds a little testy, it is because his son recently turned 16 and was driving alone for the first time in Finster’s car – a Volvo – while eating a cheeseburger and fries when a poodle scampered in front of him. Fortunately, the brakes worked exceptionally well, but the dashboard is completely covered in strawberry-milkshake residue that will never come off.

There is a good reason why God arranged for our children to start out so cute and innocent and fun. If He would have inflicted a teenager on Adam and Eve, they would have immediately ceased having any more children, and the average college textbook on the history of civilization would be a lot shorter.

No, God had to ease us into parenthood by cleverly disguising potential teenagers as gurgling little babies who disarm us by cooing and smiling before they barf on us.
If the average couple could see just how difficult parenting teens was going to be, they would run screaming down the road. But since God emphatically wanted children in the world, He not only made them cute but also made the process of conceiving them so much fun that He knew we would participate in His plan.

But these children typically become teens, which are inherently difficult. They are often maddening, immature, unreasonable and capable of stupendous acts of stupidity. Which is to say they are exactly like you used to be when you were a teenager. And God loves them deeply. And He wants you to help them through this difficult phase of growing up.

Your teen needs massive amounts of your time and energy, even if he acts like he doesn’t even want anyone to know he has parents.

What he mostly needs is a relationship with you, not a rule book. I am not at all saying that rules are not important. Indeed, they are vital and even potentially life saving. I have a teen at home, and I regularly invoke rules, curfews and commandments despite the caterwauling of protest. Rules come with the territory of being a dad. But rules minus a relationship will likely spawn rebellion. That is where many dads go wrong.
We need to show grace to our teens, just like God shows grace to us. Grace is about love, sacrifice, relationship. It is not about “laying down the law.” It is about laying down our life. God did it for His children. He wants us to do likewise.

If your teens are driving you insane — and they always eventually do — keep reminding yourself that the main thing they need to know is that they are loved.
Even if you discover they have been doing disturbing things behind your back. Even if you need to take away the car keys.

Even if you are so hurt you could cry, or so mad you could just spit — they need to know you love them.

Even when God told Adam and Eve they had to leave the garden because of their willful sin and open rebellion, He never ceased loving them.

If anything is going to bring back your teen, it won’t be a spittle-emitting fit of rage on your part. It will be love.

Jesus did not come to earth to shout at us. He came to win us back, through love.

Hang in there. God has been in your shoes. He knows what you are going through.