J-F 2002 Schaeffer

It was a moment many Christian parents can identify with. It was dinnertime, and it was 4-year-old Andrew's turn to pray. We all closed our eyes and joined hands. Then he began, slowly.

"Lord, thank you for ... the meat." Then for a moment, he was silent. I thought he had stopped, so I opened my eyes. But, undaunted, he began again.

"Thank you for the 'tatoes." More silence. I grinned. I knew what was coming next.
"Thank you for the peas. ..."

Andrew was praying with his eyes open, looking around the table at all the different items arrayed in front of us. This prayer would not be over quickly, especially since he was adamant about thanking God for everything, including the salt, pepper, fork, spoon and knife. Finally, when Andrew felt he had covered the bases, he said "Amen."

It has been almost 10 years since Andrew and my other children prayed in that manner, and frankly, I miss it. I miss it because it is a good way to pray. It occurs to me that as we get older in our faith we begin to pray with our eyes closed. When my eyes are closed, I tend to focus more on my needs and wants, and what I don't have seems to fill my mind the most.

Recently I made a significant career change, and we decided to sell our house and move. Everything familiar to me is gone, including the steady paycheck and the sense of familiarity with my old routine. I don't regret this move at all, since I believe God called me to do it, but I've noticed that there is now a much rawer tension between my fears and my faith.

Work is going well, but our house still has not sold, and nothing is like it used to be. This sense of living "in between" two different lives, the one you had, and the one you are hoping for, can create stress. This isn't necessarily bad, because it causes me to want to spend more time reading God's Word and praying, which is exactly what I have been doing. Specifically, I have been reading in the Psalms, since I can identify with David's transparent and powerful emotions, especially now.

Predictably, my prayer life has been more active lately, but I have discovered, to my dismay, that I have a knee-jerk instinct to pray with my eyes closed. Not just literally, but spiritually. The reason is that all of God's blessings simply aren't the issue right now. Needs are the issue. So needs are what I have found myself praying for, with my eyes closed.

It's funny — I never told Andrew to pray with his eyes open. Nor did I, or my wife, ever model it to him. It seems to come instinctively to children, like laughing and crying. Why, I wonder, is it so natural for children to pray with their eyes open? Maybe a better question is, why is it so natural for us to pray with our eyes closed?

I used to enjoy his open-eyed prayers. But over time he got the idea — probably from watching others (and me) — that this was "childish." So now he prays with his eyes closed as well. But the worst kinds of prayers are those prayed with our eyes closed, maybe not literally, but definitely spiritually.

On a recent morning I dragged myself into my study for yet another session of "Lord, I need." But before I began to pray, I spent time in Psalm 16. I'm glad I did, because God saw the need to fine-tune my prayer life. I read the first verse of Psalm 16: "Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge."

Keep me safe. I love Bible verses that focus on me, and encourage God to focus on me. This was a great introduction to my prayer time. Then, in verse 5, I was ambushed. David, in the midst of his needs, stopped, looked back on his entire life, and completely changed gears.

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance" (Psalm 16:5-6). David had stopped to pray with his eyes open. I was reminded that I need to do the same.

Last night I was awakened by the sound of arguing neighbors, which happens periodically. Both spouses seem to be kind and decent people, but together they are miserable with and to each other. I just finished counseling with another couple who has had a difficult marriage for the last 10 years. But in my own case, from the day I married my wife, Annette, we have been a team. We both love God more than we love each other, and it has made all the difference in our marriage. We have been blessed. Other people may have more worldly security right now, but no one has a better marriage.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. I have a delightful inheritance. This is true no matter how difficult everything else is in my life. The one constant is a great marriage that has lasted for 18 years. But how often do I pray with my eyes open? My wife is there everywhere, serving, loving, caring and sacrificing. Like the salt and pepper on the table, she is such a regular fixture that I may take her for granted.
Praying with our eyes open means increasing our praise time and tempering our need time, which only makes sense when you think about it. It's not that God isn't interested in our needs, but that He's always interested in our needs. When I pray with my eyes open and see all the ways God has already met my needs, there is less concern that He will somehow let me down.

Thirteen years ago we moved to a brand-new area to start a church. We had no money to buy a home and could not have qualified to buy a pogo stick. We were content to find a home to rent, but the home rentals were astronomical. Annette felt led to ask her grandparents if they might like to invest in buying a home with us, sharing the equity we would build, which would help both parties. Neither of us held out much hope for that, since her grandparents had never done anything of the kind. Then the letter came back — yes, they would love to help us. They didn't give us a loan and share the equity; they simply gave us the down payment and co-signed for our loan. We went from not being able to rent to buying a beautiful home in town. Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.

The fact that we have a home to sell is a major blessing. But when you pray with your eyes closed, you don't often see those kinds of things. They recede into the background like elevator music and are ignored.

As for the financial needs of our family, since I changed jobs we have not missed one bill, one meal — not one of anything to be honest. We unexpectedly received a severance, and one of our investments did much better than average. There may be no steady paycheck, but we have never had so much money in the bank. Funny how when I was praying so intently for God to meet our future financial needs this little bit of information slipped my mind. Before I ever thought about praying for these things with any kind of intensity, God had already provided for us. It's so hard to see with your eyes closed.

I have three beautiful, healthy children. Each one of them knows the Lord. They love their church and their God. But when I close my eyes, their faces and the fact that they are a gift can easily be forgotten. I have a delightful inheritance.

I came from three broken homes. But my children have only known a father and mother who love each other and them. My children sleep peacefully through the night, undisturbed by yells of anger and slamming doors. What was it I needed again?
What need is there that God won't meet? When praise and thanksgiving time are short but need time is long, my prayer life is unbalanced. I don't think God is offended when we pray for our needs; He encourages us to do just that. But when we close our eyes to the blessings He's already given us, it affects our attitude in prayer. At least it does mine.

So until a better method comes along, I'm choosing to regress. Move over, Andrew, I'll take this one.

"Thank you, Lord, for the meat, and the potatoes, and the rice, and ... ."




Click here for more information on the author.

It was a moment many Christian parents can identify with. It was dinnertime, and it was 4-year-old Andrew's turn to pray. We all closed our eyes and joined hands. Then he began, slowly. "Lord, thank you for ... the meat." Then for a moment, he was silent. I thought he had stopped, so I opened my eyes. But, undaunted, he began again. "Thank you for the 'tatoes." More silence. I grinned. I knew what was coming next. "Thank you for the peas. ..." Andrew was praying with his eyes open, looking around the table at all the different items arrayed in front of us. This prayer would not be over quickly, especially since he was adamant about thanking God for everything, including the salt, pepper, fork, spoon and knife. Finally, when Andrew felt he had covered the bases, he said "Amen." It has been almost 10 years since Andrew and my other children prayed in that manner, and frankly, I miss it. I miss it because it is a good way to pray. It occurs to me that as we get older in our faith we begin to pray with our eyes closed. When my eyes are closed, I tend to focus more on my needs and wants, and what I don't have seems to fill my mind the most. Recently I made a significant career change, and we decided to sell our house and move. Everything familiar to me is gone, including the steady paycheck and the sense of familiarity with my old routine. I don't regret this move at all, since I believe God called me to do it, but I've noticed that there is now a much rawer tension between my fears and my faith. Work is going well, but our house still has not sold, and nothing is like it used to be. This sense of living "in between" two different lives, the one you had, and the one you are hoping for, can create stress. This isn't necessarily bad, because it causes me to want to spend more time reading God's Word and praying, which is exactly what I have been doing. Specifically, I have been reading in the Psalms, since I can identify with David's transparent and powerful emotions, especially now. Predictably, my prayer life has been more active lately, but I have discovered, to my dismay, that I have a knee-jerk instinct to pray with my eyes closed. Not just literally, but spiritually. The reason is that all of God's blessings simply aren't the issue right now. Needs are the issue. So needs are what I have found myself praying for, with my eyes closed. It's funny — I never told Andrew to pray with his eyes open. Nor did I, or my wife, ever model it to him. It seems to come instinctively to children, like laughing and crying. Why, I wonder, is it so natural for children to pray with their eyes open? Maybe a better question is, why is it so natural for us to pray with our eyes closed? I used to enjoy his open-eyed prayers. But over time he got the idea — probably from watching others (and me) — that this was "childish." So now he prays with his eyes closed as well. But the worst kinds of prayers are those prayed with our eyes closed, maybe not literally, but definitely spiritually. On a recent morning I dragged myself into my study for yet another session of "Lord, I need." But before I began to pray, I spent time in Psalm 16. I'm glad I did, because God saw the need to fine-tune my prayer life. I read the first verse of Psalm 16: "Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge." Keep me safe. I love Bible verses that focus on me, and encourage God to focus on me. This was a great introduction to my prayer time. Then, in verse 5, I was ambushed. David, in the midst of his needs, stopped, looked back on his entire life, and completely changed gears. "LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance" (Psalm 16:5-6). David had stopped to pray with his eyes open. I was reminded that I need to do the same. Last night I was awakened by the sound of arguing neighbors, which happens periodically. Both spouses seem to be kind and decent people, but together they are miserable with and to each other. I just finished counseling with another couple who has had a difficult marriage for the last 10 years. But in my own case, from the day I married my wife, Annette, we have been a team. We both love God more than we love each other, and it has made all the difference in our marriage. We have been blessed. Other people may have more worldly security right now, but no one has a better marriage. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. I have a delightful inheritance. This is true no matter how difficult everything else is in my life. The one constant is a great marriage that has lasted for 18 years. But how often do I pray with my eyes open? My wife is there everywhere, serving, loving, caring and sacrificing. Like the salt and pepper on the table, she is such a regular fixture that I may take her for granted. Praying with our eyes open means increasing our praise time and tempering our need time, which only makes sense when you think about it. It's not that God isn't interested in our needs, but that He's always interested in our needs. When I pray with my eyes open and see all the ways God has already met my needs, there is less concern that He will somehow let me down. Thirteen years ago we moved to a brand-new area to start a church. We had no money to buy a home and could not have qualified to buy a pogo stick. We were content to find a home to rent, but the home rentals were astronomical. Annette felt led to ask her grandparents if they might like to invest in buying a home with us, sharing the equity we would build, which would help both parties. Neither of us held out much hope for that, since her grandparents had never done anything of the kind. Then the letter came back — yes, they would love to help us. They didn't give us a loan and share the equity; they simply gave us the down payment and co-signed for our loan. We went from not being able to rent to buying a beautiful home in town. Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The fact that we have a home to sell is a major blessing. But when you pray with your eyes closed, you don't often see those kinds of things. They recede into the background like elevator music and are ignored. As for the financial needs of our family, since I changed jobs we have not missed one bill, one meal — not one of anything to be honest. We unexpectedly received a severance, and one of our investments did much better than average. There may be no steady paycheck, but we have never had so much money in the bank. Funny how when I was praying so intently for God to meet our future financial needs this little bit of information slipped my mind. Before I ever thought about praying for these things with any kind of intensity, God had already provided for us. It's so hard to see with your eyes closed. I have three beautiful, healthy children. Each one of them knows the Lord. They love their church and their God. But when I close my eyes, their faces and the fact that they are a gift can easily be forgotten. I have a delightful inheritance. I came from three broken homes. But my children have only known a father and mother who love each other and them. My children sleep peacefully through the night, undisturbed by yells of anger and slamming doors. What was it I needed again? What need is there that God won't meet? When praise and thanksgiving time are short but need time is long, my prayer life is unbalanced. I don't think God is offended when we pray for our needs; He encourages us to do just that. But when we close our eyes to the blessings He's already given us, it affects our attitude in prayer. At least it does mine. So until a better method comes along, I'm choosing to regress. Move over, Andrew, I'll take this one. "Thank you, Lord, for the meat, and the potatoes, and the rice, and ... ."